in at the deep end

First day of caddying over. I ‘shadowed’ in the morning with three crazy Americans who were into sewage in a big way by all accounts. My fellow caddies were lovely. Richard an ex policeman (who doesn’t know me !), Jamie a good looking chain smoking Cockney and Dave from Dundee.
The Castle course is stunning for views of St Andrews. The proverbial ‘haar of kirks… bullseye centred at the outer edges.. one inch in front of beyond’ is beautifully caught here.
After a couple of nips at the turn the tune changed a bit though. Jim, our characterful Texan, said that this might sound a bit gay but he just wants to get inside Simon who was three feet away.( from the pin I mean!). I exclaimed that there should be no more whisky for you sir.
Anyway a great round was had by all and I was given a twenty pound tip from Jim which makes me think I should really be getting into sewage.
As we came off the course our Caddie Master looked slightly stressed and explained that they needed sixteen guys down at The Old Course immediately. There were suddenly serious expressions on the faces of my fellow caddies. It was Friday evening and beginning to rain and the Spain vs Holland World Cup match on. As such all three declined and I suddenly found myself in the infamous Caddy Shack at The Old Course being thrown a bib and instructed that there were four Americans coming off the first green who I had to take care of.
Oh my God there is no one else with me and I haven’t played here for thirty years. Shit! Further there is a buggy and I have to drive it. The last time I drove a buggy, at my home course in Edinburgh, I lost control in the car park and crashed into Tom Costello’s brand new Mini Cooper.
Luckily young Ross pitches up and I am relieved. However I find out he is an emergency caddie and has never played the course. But he has got a map! So I let Ross drive the buggy and I take the bag of a very genial ex-Mayor of Debraska and mutter something about being new but having been here at University.
Well luckily for Ross and me these guys were exceptionally mellow and forgiving and rewarded us handsomely. I walked off the 18th ninety pounds richer and thinking that could have gone a whole lot worse.

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