My first job on The Castle and we’ve got four jet lagged Manhatten Fund Managers on a business trip. They seem an eclectic bunch. One guy Larry has to be on something. He’s pacing up and down the first tee like Basil Fawlty on heat. Luckily I haven’t got his bag. I’ve got big mellow Brad who is already sampling an Eden Brewery ale and giving a bit of crack.
I am introduced to Tam who is a caddie of the old school from St Andrews.You know the chain smoking, wizened dour Scot who can be seen of an evening in The Keys and can drink for Scotland. I’ve been warned that I won’t be able to understand a word he says but that he is a demon at reading putts.
After a few holes it is apparent that hyper Larry is in desperate need of golf lessons or a fix of some sort. However he is taking things very seriously indeed. I mean I know you should line up a putt. But to walk up and down a forty footer three times when your looking at a triple bogey is pushing it. At one point hIs caddie indicates that he should hit his ball to this mound whereby it would run down to the hole. And Larry puts on this very serious expression and asks ‘ to the top ?’. And I think hey Larry if you want your ball to run down that wee slope to the hole then your going to have to hit it to the top first pal. That is basic physics mate.
Later things got better as Larry started making noises about the fact that he was having to share a room for four days. I mean he doesn’t do that with his wife! He’s paying eight thousand bucks and ‘doubling’ with a guy he’s never met. I thought well you’ve got a point but imagine how the other bloke will feel when he finds out he’s sharing with you.