I have never liked the look of the chap to be honest and I remember him making some idiotic televised reply to a serious question about the LIV tour and its Saudi owners, which was remarkable for it being so cliched and of the utmost drivel. At one point he was asked whether he would play golf in a tour run by Mr Putin? Ian replied that this was a hypothetical question and he therefore couldn’t answer it!

Good God Ian!

Maybe don’t enrol into any philosophy night-school modules old boy.

Anyway, he has now carried on his dumbness in attempting to justify his joining the ranks of LIV, stating that he has to consider his family! And self-pityingly adds that he took to over-eating because of all the flak he was being dealt out.

Poor Ian. Over-eating.

I would suggest Mr Poulter that you should probably just keep your head down and concentrate on hitting the ball than attempting to verbalise stuff.

You just ain’t too convincing old horse.

And sorry for giving you more flak, but these are such rich pickings for us poor old hacks.