Not my title I’m afraid but that of Jessica Fox’s book about her upping-sticks from California to go and work at The Bookshop in Wigton.

Now that’s a whopping title for a book. It’s immense actually. I mean Jessica Fox may not even be a good writer, but with a title like that who needs to be. That will sell her book.

I mean Bill Bryson made his career, in my opinion, on the back of one good joke at the start of his first book ‘I come from Des Moines. Somebody had to.’

That’s actually pretty good but alas, all the rest of his stuff is grossly overrated and not really funny at all. In fact I would say he’s dead lucky he cracked that Des Moines joke early doors. In fact he’s made a killing out of it. Funny how things work?

I mean it’s like Frank Skinner must have said something funny at some point. But I seriously struggle with that one.

I’m just working on my forthcoming book’s title and it’s tricky. I quite like ‘Round the World on 8k’, but for that I need 8k and to get over a morbid fear of flying. Would be fun though.

Of course, that Tom Coyne chap did the book on Golf round Ireland and he’s been very successful with it. I actually emailed him and said I’d had the same idea a couple of years back after I read the book about the bloke who lugged a fridge around Ireland as a result of a drunken bet. And Tom said that’s exactly what had inspired him too.

For some reason that kind of rubbed it in even more. But all credit to him.

And of course Oliver Horowitz has done the caddie thing with ‘An American Caddie in St Andrews’ and a rum thing it is. I suppose I could write ‘How not to get Put-Up for the R@A’ but that’s a bit too like sour grapes.

‘Ding-dong in the Muirfield locker room’ would be better but Chris has already written ‘You don’t need a tie’ and I guess Dr Hugh would rather that particular event was not overly publicised.

It all seems to have been done.

I may have to stick to ‘The Kilted Caddie goes on tour’.

This has immense scope.

Of course, Douglas Stuart’s ‘Shuggie Bain’ had to win the Booker. That’s a huge title. Also and by the sounds of it, he seems a very cool guy and has an important story to tell. Must read that one.

But first I must press on with my book.

I see Trump took refuge on one of his golf courses the other day. I wonder if he scored well? Perchance another course record?

Presumably yes.

But who was he trying to fool by scoring well? His playing partners? The press? His obviously fragile ego?

And thereby he insinuates that people are generally fools? Or he doesn’t care? Because cheating at goff is most apparent and nearly always exposed.

I always go back to this very successful businessman playing a competition with my brother who was marking his card. The poor chap scored a six and tried to fob it off as a five. His retort when challenged ‘no a net 5’ !

A statement that is too untenable and ridiculous for words. But the pathetic man did try this on.

And now President Donald Trump has taken such behaviour to a whole different level on the world stage.

His election antics belong to late primary school years at the limit. Any reasonable mind should grasp the hopelessness of his stance. I mean even Iwanka has distanced herself, if not, Don and Eric. But they’re surely as thick as they come.

Maybe Donald might finally learn some humility from all this.

It’s not sir, all about winning.