Our fun aerospace engineers, Bret and his son Steve, were recounting how they were watching the end of The US Open a few years back and a player missed a four foot putt on the final green abysmally, and there was a Scottish commentator on CBS who seemingly just said ‘well that’s enough to make you slap your grannie’. Our guys had to replay the shot a few times to affirm that this was what the guy actually came out with and were in stitches over it. I must admit I have never heard such a knockout line and it’s not the sort of thing that Sir Nick Faldo is going to come out with.

Talking of Sir Nick Faldo, we had a BMW tournament recently and one of the guys had the honour of playing with him. Except it turned out to be less than memorable as Sir Nick introduced himself to the three BMW executives on the first tee, in the final round of their costly sponsored event with the line ‘ I don’t give advice and I don’t talk’. Absolutely incredible behaviour from the man, especially as I’m sure that BMW were paying a good few quid to have him there in the first place. Needless to say I don’t think he was invited back.

Poor show Sir Nick.

Coach is one of our most wonderfully characterful caddies. I came into the shack this morning and he was not talking which is an extremely rare occurrence. I then saw that he had what was like a gum shield protruding from his mouth and was enlightened to find out that it was a teeth whitener.

Anyway, it was very funny as we all went out to meet our clients and I swear Coach went straight up to his man and said ‘your teeth are whiter than mine’. I mean what an introduction and ice breaker. The guy sort of smiled and acknowledged that he was in for a bit of a fun round.

Yes Coach and Cologne Tom are on a different stratosphere to most of the guys, and the combination of the two would be awesome. I was actually out with Cologne Tom last week and he was on inimitable form too. The American guys were not entirely sure how to take him and it came to a very amusing point on the fourth when my man came across to me looking most perplexed and saying in a tone of disbelief ‘Louis just topped the ball and Tom said “marvellous!”‘.

 

We all got very wet last Wednesday morning and it didn’t help that we had to endure a five hour forty round as well.

Gary, our ex RAF hulk, decided to go for a quick change after nine in the caddie shack and quickly stripped off all his clothes, just in time for our only female caddie Meroe to enter. We are not sure how she took all this, as she has thrown in the towel for the season but was last seen walking down South Street looking reasonably stunned. She may have felt like the Frenchman who only has one egg for breakfast that ‘un oeuf is un oeuf’.

Had another amusing anecdote with Calum. We were walking down the second on a beautiful day during the week and talking about how lovely St Andrews was and our American chap suddenly  added  ‘yes, and there are no blacks’. We kind of warily carried on the conversation a bit and then Cal said in the most amusing and politic way ‘you not a big fan like?’ Kind of the most finely gauged comment you could make in the circumstances.