Mourinho ho ho ho!

Santa has come nice and early for the Manchester United manager in that he is getting a 10 million quid pay-off for getting sacked.

That’s quite a cool deal considering he’s been earning 15 million a year anyway and showing about as much skill in picking a winning side as me picking a nag to run first or a profitable stock.

Yes, I actually watched his last match as manager against Liverpool and was dismayed that he had put Pogba and Martial on the bench. Ok Martial did come on in the 80th minute but then it was all over.

Jose, even I know that Pogba and Martial should be on the pitch. Come on man.

Most interesting was the comment in the Times article which said that ‘United have to bring in a footballing expert to work with the next manager’

What the …..? Doesn’t the manager at this stratospheric level have the ability to know the game? It’s not bloody chess or bridge. You try and get the ball into the opposing teams net as many times as possible and try not to let them get it in your net. Even David Beckham understood this.

No, it’s all beyond me this football craziness. If I was manager of a team I would encourage small passes into space and bar anyone from shooting outside 15 yards. Simple. Keep it simple. And preferably put your best players on the pitch, and from the start.

Simple. Not like American or British politics may I venture to say. I am not sure which is in a bigger mess or the bigger laughing stock?

Trump has got some egg on his face now with his charitable Foundation and he’s thought it expedient to close it down. Call me massively cynical? Yes.

Cohen has got three years in the nick for his obsequiousness to a flouncy haired, smug faced charlatan businessman and conman politician, likely rapist, self-admitted pussy grabber, overall boor, and not very nice and all that terrific a person.

Flynn, the ex-national bloody national security advisor, is getting rapped presently for lying to the FBI and attempting the pitiful defense that he thought it was all just a wee chat.

A wee chat with the FBI? Heaven forbid. Pass me a glass of something strong.

No. it’s not looking great for Trumpy at the moment, with Mueller soon to be coming a knocking and already 17 litigation counts down and mounting. He needs some charity I expect but not from his Foundation because that’s closed doon!

But we have our Brexit bombshell over here to worry about. It is one big muddle and both the top players are struggling to make the next move.

It’s one bloody mess that’s for sure. The only way now is to give it back to the people to see if they want another referendum on it? The politicians are never going to find the right way out. The recriminations will otherwise last for centuries.

In the last scenario and as I’ve said before we should be bringing on Dad’s Army and my good man Arthur.

And this indeed may have been prescient.

As, didn’t I hear the other day that a few thousand troops were being lined up?

The Home Guard, perchance?




May and Trump now have something in common

I don’t reckon either will be hanging around and steering the wheels of their governments much longer.

Poor May to be honest. But that bloke Donald deserves all he gets. I feel sympathy for Theresa but a deep loathing for that numpty, Trumpy. The sooner that smug face and man disappear the better. Bring on Michelle Obama. And soon. Please. A heart, a soul, a real person.

Brexit is well up in the air. It’s a hard call. An impossible call now to be honest. It’s got rather horribly complicated. Backstops, Norweigen styles, quasi and short term customs union arrangements, fragile borders, an omnipresent ECJ, withdrawal and re-submission of 1922 letters, protestors outside parliament , 585 page legal dossiers flying around, high-end car doors jamming, general election rumours, fishing agendas and Amsterdam continuing to get their hands on our sole, dire warnings of queues at Dover, pandering and meandering.

It’s all like some hammy gerrymandering with lines and daggers being drawn in Gibraltar and along the Irish border. Bring on Dad’s Army, that’s what I say. Arthur Lowe would sort it all out.

I am still for my rather contentious position. A referendum to see if the people want another referendum on it. Hell why not? At least then we can be doubly sure and bring in that old democracy chestnut, big time.

I have been on holiday in Japan and have just returned to the colder but homelier climes of St Andrews. Tokyo is great, most places have heated toilet seats and efficient smiling staff, but it’s full on and exhausting. We did get to visit a lovely place on the coast, two hours south, called Shimoda and went to the best restaurant I’ve ever been to. It’s owned by a friend of ours and he effectively runs the 27 seater pad all by himself. And what a cook he is (as well as being a lovely, sweet and humble guy).

Flamme Jacque is something very special indeed. They had the US Ambassador in last week. And then us!

We are now nearing the completion of our bistrot in Edinburgh and have just to finally decide on the name, menu, decor, staffing, lighting, flooring, seating and other not insignificant issues. Alessandro is a top guy and cook and I’m going to give him and it my best. We are heading for a Februaryish opening (August).

I still want pizza and steak on the menu but we shall have to wait and see. Alessandro is the main food man. I have insisted on a couple of different blends for the coffee though, really good tea and the best hot chocolate in the universe. Anyway will keep you posted.

I have not been following the golf but did notice that Matt Wallace was the only three time winner on the European Tour this year. This kind of validated my enthusiasm about him as detailed in my Dunhill article for Hong Kong Golf Monthly last year. I caddied in the same group for three rounds as he partnered my man Dave Walsh.

Of the man Dave Walsh though, I’m afraid I can’t enthuse too wildly about.

I am still off the booze which is grand and I’ve lost some weight. The horses are going nicely and we have a new kitchen table and lounge chair coming. We are still short on curtains though but boy are they expensive.

My architect doesn’t respond to emails anymore and we are having to get new plans drawn up (that fit!) from another architect so that we can get a completion certificate.

I hope the new one can measure properly?

Dig, dig, dig, dig and dig.