Tour Guide Course Weekend

I had a rather interesting time at the weekend on my final interview for the Blue Badge Course in Glasgow, not least because it was quite fascinating to see the rich diversity of individuals competing for one of the thirty six places, but because I actually ended up residing in a hedge adjacent to Glenrothes Bus Station on the Sunday night. But to that another time! All we can say is that it was enterprising at most but not great on the tour planning front. However I now know a rather nice bush in close proximity to the Glenrothes Bus Station.

I met luca, the owner of Little Fish Tours in Edinburgh the other week and was most interested in his wee story. A South African who has set up shop in Edinburgh and doing rather well I think. Seems most switched on and has impressive guides working for him, as well as excellent Trip Advisor ratings. He has now started a whisky/story telling evening in the Waverley Bar and I must go there and try it. I do like a good yarn.

I have written about Phil Mickelson’s rather inglorious behaviour at the US Open and the article will be coming out in HK Golf Monthly in July. I found it really quite hard to decide on the title, but went eventually for ‘What a complete Shinnicock’ which is how I am describing my golf at the moment. Yes I scored over a hundred in my last medal, sprained my wrist because I hit too many fat shots, fell out with a Mr Auchterlonie and some other pillars of the club in the bar afterwards and I suppose just kept up to recent and consistent lifetime form, if you get my drift?

I suppose you could say that my life has at least not been dull to date, but I could be spared residing in the litter strewn foliage of Glenrothes Bus Station on a cool Midsummer’s night, thank you very much. That is nay dream unless you are at real rock bottom and an ass. But nay, nay I am nay ass.

I suppose at the extreme you could say it was resourceful and indeed eventually even life saving, but as a prospective professional blue badge guide it wasn’t my finest moment on the planning front and rather soured what had been a momentous weekend.




How the other half live

I was greatly amused by a column in the weekend FT which described the New York weekend antics of this art dealer chap and I will summarise it to give you the gist.

Arose with my wife Fairfax (yes Fairfax!) on Saturday and did some matcha and meditation before Fairfax made a delicious bit of scram egg and parsley. Jumped into the Tesla and mooched round the local farmers market. Back to take our Maltese, Matisse (yes Matisse) out for a stroll around Madison Square Park before grabbing the kids and heading down town. Popped into Insight for a healthy salad and then went by our new gallery that we are building on 25th Street (doesn’t everyone!), to see how they’re getting on before heading home for a bit more meditation and an unctuous dinner at Gari Colombus’s new plant based restaurant on Upper West Side. Sunday started with a bit of ’rounding’ (trendy yoga), before Fairfax made a spot of avocado toast with nettles and chillies. Went for an intense workout at my gym before going to the new Japanese to have some sublime salmon rice and stewed gingko nuts!

My weekend in Buckhaven is looking less than glamorous now. Got arsed in The Crown on Friday and had spectacular kebab in Istanbul’s. Saturday hit the boozer at ten as my head was gi’ing me grief. Lost a shed load on the Derby as my punt ran like a donkey. Put fifty quid in the puggie which didnae help matters. Went to the offie for a couple of bottles of buckie and got smashed doon the beach in Leven with the wife. Grabbed a chinky and somehow got home. Spent Sunday morning watching netflix and sobering up with a few cans of Tennents and a half bottle of voddie.

Great weekend mind. But heeds mince and she’s no talking like.