Sluggish start

The purchase of 48 discounted mince pies from St Andrews Sainsburys has not aided the drive towards a trimmer me in 2018. On top of this a rash purchase of brandy cream and several christmas puddings has been disastrous. However, I have at least made a final and painful farewell to peanut butter. But diets are intensely dull.

That aside, things have got off to an ok start. My back has recovered and although I have had a slight chest infection I am now much more mobile and feel the stirrings of recovery, if not the incantations of old age.

My Trump article comes out next month in HK Golf. Good timing as the man does nothing to allay interest in his amazing personage at the moment. I do fancy that Mueller chap is going to get him though. That or some irritated guy from Iran or an African state.

Now things back home are no less interesting. What with Henry Bolton the UKIP chap, having to make a rather tricky choice between heading up the said party and going out with a rather attractive 25 year old blond, albeit with no brain. That could well be the dilemma of the year? I suppose he could always chuck her and carry on a covert relationship while still leading UKIP. He seemed to be pretty adept at this while canvassing for his leadership role.

I am very much taken by the Guido Fawkes site and love their Friday caption contest. I rather fancy my chances with this week’s. It has Theresa and Mike Gove looking eagerly out of a bird watching hut, Theresa in front and peering through binoculars but looking a tad perplexed.

Theresa: ‘Is that a coq up that tree Michael?’
Michael: ‘No, it’s just Boris trying to be clever and get on News at Six again’

Oh dear. Sorry! Well now you’ll know if my blog is for you or not? This is rather challenged humour.

But we must carry on. My book ‘The Private Life of Humphrey Earnest Eccles Hornblower’ will be out soon. And rather sooner if you will be so good to cough up a hundred and five quid for an advanced copy.

Tidings.

ps tips for the day. Don’t eat yellow snow and Clandau Bisto in the 2.30pm at Plumpton.

(All heavy going).

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