Idle ramblings and thoughts on world peace

Yes I had this inspirational thought the other day about how to solve the crisis in North Korea. Donald should simply invite Kim Jong-Un across to golf at his resort in Florida. Give him the 5 star treatment, play a good few rounds and get everything sorted out once and for all.

That’s how business works nowadays, so why not world politics too. It would be a lovely environment to help mend the obvious rifts and differing perspectives of the two leaders. Ok there would still be a language barrier but chuck in a couple of translators and nice natured caddies and maybe a rules official or two.

For as we all know a golf course is a great leveller and not the place to hide or harbour prejudices. It’s a huge test and challenge to the human condition if ever there was one. A place for soul searching and bringing one completely down to earth, like a rocket in fact. I dare say if Plato was pitching around he’d be well up for the idea.

However we would have to get some things straight at the outset. You know the obvious issues with Donald’s handicap and the dubiety over the exact number of his club championship wins. We don’t want Kim to think that this is some kind of gross lark, betrayal and stitch up job. No this has to be as true to the bone, untainted and transparent as an FBI investigation. There must be no thought of underlying subterfuge, any mention of Russian involvement or hints at untruths. That would not be cricket and certainly against the spirit of the noble game.

Of course they will have to invite the world press and I would suggest that since they all got so well catered for at this years Masters, they should try and maintain the same level of hospitality for us old hacks. I heard that at Augusta National the foie gras was particularly good, as indeed was the pimento cheese and Crozes Hermitage. Mind you I think the latter has too much of a Russian thing going on in the name so maybe stick to a good old claret. Possibly a 1918.

Talking of Russians, I suppose we could try the same thing out with Vladmir. But not at the same time. A threesome is not a good golf format. Well unless they did a Texas scramble. But no, not in Florida.

I do think old Vladmir would take to the game pretty quickly, especially once he’d got his hands on a Callaway Epic driver, low loft with extra stiff shaft. I mean that is fairly high up the macho, alpha male and testosterone scales. And if some big name pro could further explain the sexiness of swing speed then we could be onto a complete winner.

Mind you we would have to make sure Mr Putin didn’t play bare chested. Well unless the guys at the Royal and Ancient have had thoughts about that sort of thing already that is. They certainly seem to have introduced other weird and wonderful changes to the game in the last few years. But no I can’t see that one. And certainly the Ladies Golf Union are tightening up in that area. Well more on the bottom half to be exact and essentially about not showing too much of it. And I would say that’s marginally short sighted of the old gals as it’s a pretty big reason to go and watch.

So there we have it. Quite simple really. It may clear up the overhanging Russian problem, save the poor North Korean chap a bucket load on trade sanctions and stop the UN getting further upset and all that.

The only real worry with this strategy is if Kim or Vladmir turn out to have a competitive nature and want some sort of match play event, resulting in the potential outcome in which President Trump could lose.

What a complete and utter Mara-la-Go that would be!

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