How the other half live

I was greatly amused by a column in the weekend FT which described the New York weekend antics of this art dealer chap and I will summarise it to give you the gist.

Arose with my wife Fairfax (yes Fairfax!) on Saturday and did some matcha and meditation before Fairfax made a delicious bit of scram egg and parsley. Jumped into the Tesla and mooched round the local farmers market. Back to take our Maltese, Matisse (yes Matisse) out for a stroll around Madison Square Park before grabbing the kids and heading down town. Popped into Insight for a healthy salad and then went by our new gallery that we are building on 25th Street (doesn’t everyone!), to see how they’re getting on before heading home for a bit more meditation and an unctuous dinner at Gari Colombus’s new plant based restaurant on Upper West Side. Sunday started with a bit of ’rounding’ (trendy yoga), before Fairfax made a spot of avocado toast with nettles and chillies. Went for an intense workout at my gym before going to the new Japanese to have some sublime salmon rice and stewed gingko nuts!

My weekend in Buckhaven is looking less than glamorous now. Got arsed in The Crown on Friday and had spectacular kebab in Istanbul’s. Saturday hit the boozer at ten as my head was gi’ing me grief. Lost a shed load on the Derby as my punt ran like a donkey. Put fifty quid in the puggie which didnae help matters. Went to the offie for a couple of bottles of buckie and got smashed doon the beach in Leven with the wife. Grabbed a chinky and somehow got home. Spent Sunday morning watching netflix and sobering up with a few cans of Tennents and a half bottle of voddie.

Great weekend mind. But heeds mince and she’s no talking like.



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