Birdie Bottle

It is most interesting this year whilst caddying for Americans to ask them their slant on the Donald Trump election story. It is illuminating to say the least and the bottom line, that I can gather, is that the country has got itself into a bit of a pickle with two pretty unsavoury ingredients.

My man yesterday, a genial executive from New York exclaimed that Mr Trump had probably not been entirely serious at the outset, but soon realised that it was going to come down to a two horse race and he was up against a filly called Hilary. And to keep the analogy going we could say that this filly has had some good breeding and great runs but they are presently being subject to a steward’s enquiry. My man is therefore going for a trump with a joker and it appears that the whole thing is not dissimilar to a game of poker.

On a more serious note, I realised after my morning round yesterday that I had left my lunch at home. I had forty minutes before my next loop. So I rushed into my caddiemaster Matt and said I was going to dash  into town to Tescos on my bike. He first looked in disbelief at the possibility that a slightly overweight fifty three year old could manage this two mile hilly journey into St Andrews and back, in this time. And indeed I surprised myself as I returned twenty five minutes later with my Tesco’s bag. However, Matt’s now calling me Lance.

I fore caddied in the afternoon for a lovely Finnish couple and a nice chap from Belgium. We had a fun round and I was amused by their ‘birdie bottle’. Basically, a flask of Jamiesons malt which was used to toast the scoring of a birdie. However, on realising the toughness of the Castle Course this was judiciously, and unanimously, changed to a ‘par bottle’.

The trio hit a bit of form around the turn and became merry. Then Katarine hit a birdie on the eleventh and it was declared that a double dram was merited. However, she then birdied the next and it was decided that things were going swimmingly.

I have been invited out to Helsinki to play the oldest course in Finland, was tipped handsomely and have a most benign view of the Finnish race and golfing traditions.


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