On Mortonhall Golf Club

I have two claims to fame at Mortonhall. One for getting oh so nearly thrown out of the bar for being rather too inebriated and the other for holding the fastest time for the Dewar Hill Race at 3 minutes 57 seconds. I am more proud of the latter of course. Any Tom, Dick or Harry can get thrown out of a bar, but 3 minutes 57 seconds for the Dewar Hill race will take some beating.

This race which has only ever been run twice in the history of mankind is a sprint from the clubhouse up to the old 18th tee and then to play the last out. Now this is a really fun event and last took place as part of club’s Centenary celebrations. back in the days when I was a strutting lad and able to run. It drew a largish crowd and a good few competitors. It’s a shame they don’t hold this annually to be honest.

But what a rum club Mortonhall Golf Club really is. It’s an incredibly beautiful course for a start, a great test of golf and run by the very witty steward, David Henderson. I have many friends that are members and a zany lot they are too. They run a club within the club called The Mortonhall Casual Barmy Army, MCBA for short. Now in my opinion, every club should have their own Barmy Army. In fact there should be a national Barmy Army Team Tournament sponsored by the R&A to the sum of a million quid each year. This would tide the players over for light refreshments, prize money and an annual bash on the Old each year, at which each qualifying team will be put up for a week at the splendid new Rusacks and there will be free Louis Roederer Cristal champagne on tap, Cuvee of course! I’m sure that the R&A can swing a wee Cristal deal into the bargain. They’re good at that sort of thing.

You could have a kind of Barmy Army Dewar Hill Race whereby all barmies would run from the R&A into the sea at Castle Sands, swim three strokes out and back in memory of Old Tom and hit a ball back to the 18th green of the Old. What a blast that would be? Put a bit of zest back into the old game what?

Anyway you just never know. I shall be starting off by trying to resurrect the race at Mortonhall first, now that I’m a member again. Thereafter I’ll pull together all my pals at the R&A and get that one rolling.

Well, I’ll give that chap a ring!

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